Assignment#1 Childhood Trauma(REVISION)

Locked "Out" of the House

You are an eight-year-old girl, who love your family. You have a five-year-old younger brother, who looks naïve and cherubim like a typical five-year-old child. You and your brother, living next to grandma’s house, visit Grandma almost once a week. Grandma’s house, which is an apartment just like your house, is small but decorative.

The house has two verandas; one directed outward to the road is full of trees and flowers, all groomed by Grandma, and the other, smaller one, facing the playground has an antique and cozy armchair. Sitting on the armchair, you see and hear the children running around and giggling brightly from the playground. What a peaceful afternoon; you sit here enjoying warm, suave breeze until Grandma calls you for dinner. Your eye leads slowly come down. Then, you glance at an object behind the window. It is your brother, with his blank, naïve countenance. 'Why is he standing there alone?’ He lifts up the lever, turns away and waddles out of the room. You push the window aside but it does not move; yes, you are locked in the veranda by your five-year-old brother.

You hesitatingly perch yourself on the chair, with the blank face and empty brain. 'What just happened?' Yet, it takes only a few seconds for you to realize that you cannot escape from this tiny veranda before someone appears to save you. “Grandma! Grandma, where are you?” You call for grandma’s help, first murmuring then raising your tremoring voice. Yet, your feeble voice can never penetrate the tightly closed window. Furthermore, your grandma's bad ears would have no way to catch your voice. Now you are desperate: you might even starve to death in this veranda. You keep imagining: ‘People will find me mummified and laugh at how stupidly I died.’ Now presumably the last day in this world does not seem so peaceful and warm; you see the playful children out there, yet you are not able to join them any more. You even imagine to jump off the eleventh floor and land on the floor gently, like a cat or superhero. But, of course, you're neither a cat nor a hero.

After an hour, which felt like a day, you see your grandma holding your brother’s hand come into the room. You quickly approach the window and knock furiously. She opens the window, astonished. You no longer have to worry about being a mummy. Your brother, watching you exhausted, has cunningly innocent look as if he's saying, “I have no idea what just happened to you”. You shout, “Grandma, he locked the window an hour ago!”

She, still holding his hand and grinning, transmits your words to him softly “Sweetie, did you lock the window?” “Well, I didn’t know I was locking it,” he simply replies. How can you argue more? Your grandma thinks he capable of nothing but eating and throwing temper tantrums. You can only forgive your young brother, but still having doubt if he really did not know what he was doing. Why was he behind the window, doing something, that he has no idea what it is? Nobody knows.

You learn two lessons from this “near to death” experience: First, your younger brother can be dangerous in some unexpected way; second, you should always be cautious when you are in a closed place. Ironically, you escaped from the veranda but not from more traumatic experiences of locking in later on: You were to locked in a bathroom of a ferry, and then in a secluded classroom of your middleschool.

Stand by Me Soundtracks!

These are the soundtracks of Stand by Me. (I found the list at the IMDb.)

1. "Stand by Me" - Ben. E. King

The director adapted the name of this song as the title of the movie. The lyrics is relevent to the theme: Young boys with different scars in their background stand by and rely on each other. "Stand by Me" is my favorite soundtrack; I was hooked by the repetitive and cheerful melody - I actually hummed the melody for awhile after I heard this song for the first time.

2. Mr. Lee - The Bobbettes

I don't remember when this song appears in the film, but I am familiar with this light music. This song also matches with the storyline, for they both portrays kids beating the careless and hopeless adults. This song was originally about a teacher whom the Bobbettes hated.(By the way the Bobbettes is an R&B girlgroup, as you can infer from the song. "Mr. Lee" was the best hit song.)

3. Rockin' Robin - Bobby Day

Oh, this is the song for the treehouse! I really like this kind of rock-n-roll music, cheerful and fun!

4. Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis

If I remeber correctly, this song is at the very first scene of the gangsters. This is another remarkable piece with refreshing charm; it is not at all out-dated!

6. Sorry - H. Giosasi and A. Zwirn

 Hey! Do you remember this scene?

This part was very funny and the boys were really cute! Sorry(I went all the way home) was the best hit song of the Impalas, a "doo-wop" group in the late '50s. (Isn't the word "doo-wop" so well identify the song?) I thought this song was good, but most importantly the chorus is so funny and cute.

I have 10(!) more songs to review, but I think I'd better cut the list into 2 or 3 parts. (I still have many good soundtracks, such as Lollipop!) Anyway, I appreciate the director's sense of selecting the "golden" old pops, that are relevant to the movie and master pieces themselves.

The Second Reading Journal of The Body

After I finished the book...

I remember that I promised to discuss about the four characters and the relationship between the Gordie and the author in the last reading journal. In addition to those, I want to discuss about the theme. Through the entire book, each boy has distinguishable characteristics and all of them served an important role for the plot in their own way. 

 Teddy is reckless, tempered, and quite eccentric kid. He laughs eerily with “EE-eeee-ee” sound like the sound of nail squeaking into a wooden plate in the book. His hobby is “Truck Dodging”. Behind his foolhardiness, Teddy has suffered from his violent father, who melted his ear to driving him to deafness. Teddy often explodes with uncontrolled aggression, but his nature is not so different from ordinary 12-year-old boys. The scene at the dump dramatically reveals the immature and naïve nature of Teddy. He loses his temper when the Teddy is still an ingenuous boy, who cares his father, who is in a hospital. Also, this event contrasts the bravery of Chris and Teddy. His bravery also turns out to be superficial when the boys encounter the gang. At first, he made fun of the gangs, but when Chris was in trouble he was the first one to run away. I think Teddy is the most ironic character. He is the most upright boy among the four, yet he has an obscure shadow behind the uprightness.

Vern is sometimes dull, coward. He is the one told the story about Ray Brower to his friends. He is not as mature as Gordie or Chris, so he usually goes along with Teddy. He is from a normal family background, except for his bully brother. During the in class discussion, one classmate mentioned that Vern is not just a negative character in the novel, but has own value to show the immaturity. I agree with that opinion: it was Vern, who emphasized the leadership of Chris by being contrasted. Also, the presence of Vern made the story more realistic and hilarious, as there are much more Vern-like children than Chris-like children in reality. I enjoyed the scenes when Vern appears, especially the train part, because all of his behavior and dialogues were so Vern-like.

Chris is a tough, clever boy who leads the group. He is the soul-mate of Gordie. He is the only one who understands the story that Gordie made, and he highly values Gordie’s capability. Chris is a brave child, but in a different sense from Teddy: Chris knows when he has to be brave and when he has to be warm. He comforts Teddy when he broke down from the insulting words for his dad, and he is very sincere when he talks with Gordie. Yet, he is brave enough to fight against the gangsters. I wondered if a 12 year olds boy can be so matured, to protect his brother who beaten the little brother. Though he has a great potential, his aim for success, at least normal life, is frustrated from a poor family background. Many adults, including the teachers, and Gordie’s father, only think that Chris is a ruined boy and will grow up to be a He realizes his reality at an early age and wants to sacrifice for his best friend, Gordie. Chris and Gordie remain as soul-mates even after the graduation, encouraging each other to achieve the dream. Chris finally becomes a lawyer, but unfortunately he dies at young age. His death actually matches with his justice, but it seemed too sudden to contrast the death of Chris and the lavish life of Ace at the very end.

Gordie is the protagonist who is an insightful boy wants to be a writer. He is the smartest and the most insightful child among the four, thus Chris believes that Gordie has to hang out with smarter children. Despite his capability, he is always under the shade of his dead brother, Denny. Gordie’s parents are so overwhelmed by the grief of losing the son that almost forget about Gordie. Gordie seems to consider the indifference as his fault, suffering from the thought that it should have been Gordie not Denny. Gordie finally gets out from the shade through the journey.

Gordie and Stephen both love a suspense novelist, John McDonald, and they are both successful writers. Gordie’s two short stories, The Stud City and the Revenge of Lard Ass, are actually King’s early published works. The leech episode was a true story according to the documentary of the author. Their family backgrounds are different, but similar in a way that the parents were rather indifferent. Maine was the place where Stephen King was born and grew up. In addition, their first careers are both high school teachers.

During the class discussion, we talked about the theme, friendship. The concept of friend seems to be different for children and the adults. Adults, such as Gordie’s father, do not want their kids to have friends from bad family background or bad behavior. Yet, children do not judge others before they meet face to face. As one of the classmates said, it is sometimes beneficial to follow the parents and “choose” the friends to hang out together. Yet, the true friends are not the things that we can choose artificially. I think the reason why we cannot have friends, like the ones at the age twelve, is that we make the socially appropriate criteria as we grow up.

Altogether, The Body was quite long with many episodes, but it also contains many beautiful yet straight-forward quotes. I appreciate King’s sincerity and the vivid description that made the fiction more "real" than a true story.

Assignment#7 - Reflective Essay(choice 1)

Minjok Orchestra - At last ... harmony!

  A long silence chocked my neck. At last, the teacher opened his mouth with a bottomless sigh. “I was very surprised. How could it be? … There was no harmony at all. Did you guys practice? You cannot go on stage, if you keep doing like this.” Every single word from his mouth stabbed our hearts. The teacher left and we started to pack in silence. It was the audition for the concert, and we, again, had to endure acrid criticism. On the way to the dormitory, I and my friends grumbled about the teacher’s attitude, but we could not say that he was unfair. In fact, he was right at some points: we were neither harmonious nor as good as KMLA orchestra. However, we did practiced a lot – and I was never absent. The only problem was that we did not “seem” to have practiced.

  I am one of the four cellists of Minjok orchestra. (Four cellists are, indeed, insufficient for any orchestra.) Although the names, Minjok orchestra (later Minjok) and KMLA orchestra (later KMLA), seem parallel, they are very different in many ways. KMLA usually plays classical music whereas Minjok plays fusions. Minjok Orchestra includes Korean instruments, such as Haegum, Daegum, Sogum, Danso, and Gayagum. In addition, KMLA is, obviously, much bigger than Minjok. KMLA has over 7 cellists, while we have only 4: two of 4 were not going perform at the concert. Players of any instrument, except for Korean instruments, were almost twice more in KMLA than in Minjok. Two orchestras also perform at different places. Minjok plays the national anthem and the school song every Monday and we perform at Teacher’s Day and school concert. We perform at a concert hall in Bunddanggu with Seongnam junior orchestra. KMLA perform at Teacher’s Day and school festival. As far as I know, KMLA also has performed many times outside of the school.

  When I chose Minjok orchestra, I did not know much about the difference between the two orchestras. Frankly speaking, I was tempted to apply Minjok because the seniors looked friendlier and I wanted to sit during the Aeguk Johwe(애국조회). After the audition, I regretted my choice. ‘If I had applied KMLA, would I have been a better player?’ Now, I know that this was wrong, but at that time, I hated being scolding just because I was in Minjok. I could not see any hope: we practiced the same song, Frontier, over and over, but we did not make it.

  Nevertheless, we did not have choice but to practice more before the second audition. We practiced and practiced and practiced. I practically memorized the whole song. We also called Taepyungso and Janggu players and practiced together. Finally, we took the second audition, and we passed it. We were even applauded. Yet, the teacher said we did not reach the harmony: the reason why he passed us was the effect of Taepyungso and Janggu. Still, I was pleased to get the second chance.

  After the audition, we practiced more, on the weekends, self study time, meal time, and IR time. We often had to practice in the auditorium or PLZ’s practice room when KMLA orchestra used the 3^rd floor of the Chungmu building. By the way, from the third person’s point of view, we should have looked very funny. It was, indeed, ironic that the “orchestra” played on the audience’s chairs, facing the stage. Although we were in a desperate situation, we felt identified, undergoing the same difficulty together. We were more like a family than an orchestra. (I notice that the word, “family” is a cliché, used by every club to describe itself, but, hey, there is no other word to define us as we are) Once the music teacher visited us and said that we looked pitiful. Well, we all know that already, but what can we do for that?

  The day before the rehearsal, we had the last practice. We had practiced a few more pieces, but the conductor decided that we need more practice for other songs. While we were playing Frontier, the teacher showed up. He wanted to see us performing. I felt my heart pounding; it was right here that he sighed at us with disappointment a few weeks ago. We started with the loud sound of Taepyungso. With the slight motion of conductor’s hand the orchestra started off, and I could “feel” the harmony. We were going with each other’s sound. Yes, this was it. When the song ended, I looked up the teacher; he was smiling. He and the PLZ members, who were on the way to dorm, stood there and applauded. I cannot explain what I felt in a few words. One of my friends told that he even beat the time, shaking his body. We were in a small practice room, which we could only use when KMLA was not practicing, but my happiness was bigger than anything.

  Still, Minjok Orchestra had to go over poor situation even at the concert hall; our waiting “room” was assigned at the hallway between the other practice rooms of Samuchim, SOS, and KMLA. At last, we used the KMLA’s room together, but we could not erase the feeling that we were, apparently, treated poorer than KMLA though the two were both orchestras. During the rehearsal, the stage director kept on adding mikes, for the sound was too small. Bunch of mikes, which looked like IVs, hung in front of every part except for Taepyungso.

  Finally, the day of concert arrived. Minjok was to perform at the end of the 1^st part, after KMLA. We waited behind the curtain while KMLA was performing. After they finished the third piece, a large applause, as I expected, filled the hall. Now it was our turn. We walked on the stage in the dark. We had only one song ,which we prepared for almost a year. Yet, I wanted to make it better and more impressive than the three classics. The yellow, warm light turned on, and I could see the familiar faces of our Minjok orchestra. Except for the size of the stage and the black suits, we were as we had been in the practice room and the auditorium. The conductor walked in and bowed. She was the one who suffered the most from the sour criticism and ignorance. She waved her hand, and Janggu started the rhythm. I, the “only” first cello, was almost obsessed into the music. When the song ended, I realized that it was my best performance ever.

  Yet, there was no such a drama out of the stage. People seemed to remember only the Taepyungso, who is originally the flute player in KMLA orchestra. Some people asked us why we only played one song for every performance. I have to acknowledge that it was abnormal to play only one song for an entire year, and we still have to improve more. However, now I appreciate my choice for Minjok orchestra. Enduring the hardship with the members, we established strong intimacy, which, I believe, no other recognized clubs cannot achieve. Though we were hurt from others’ sayings, they are now all precious memories. Most importantly, we learned that WE CAN DO IT!

Developmental Psychology of Confucius?

I was doing psychology homework in the afternoon, completing the key-term note. I was at the page where introduces the developmental psychology from sociological perspective. All of a sudden, I reminded the lesson in Chinese class. Though the psychology textbook only deals with modern theories in the western countries, Confucius also mentioned about the development over his own life time in the Analects. Let me compare Erikson's Psychosocial Stages and the fourth verse of the Whi Jung in the Analects of Confucius:

Birth to 1 year	Trust vs. mistrust
1 year to 2 years	Autonomy vs. shame and doubt
3 to 5 years	Initiative vs. guilt
5 years to puberty	Industry vs. inferiority
Adolescence	Identity vs. isolation
Young adulthood	Intimacy vs. isolation
Middle adulthood	Generativity vs. stagnation
Late adulthood	Integrity vs. despair

15 years	志于學 : aspired to learning
30 years	立 : became independent
40 years	不惑 : became free from vacillation
50 years	知天命 : realized the God’s will
60 years	耳順 : understood anything that he heard
70 years	從心所欲 不踰矩 : doing what he wanted, yet his behavior was always reasonable.

Both Erikson and Confucius divided the developmental stages regarding the cognitive level at certain ages. Erikson claimed that people at each stage develop their personality, confronting unique task at each stage. Confucius talked about his own experience, which can generalized into ideal developmental model.
Confucius did not considered the earlier stages before the adolescence, maybe because his main concern is about the developmental stages as a scholar. The first stage of Confucius' development is consistent with the sixth stage of Erikson's theory: Confucius found his identity of scholar at the age 15, which is the middle of adolescence. The second stage, becoming independent and the stage of young adulthood in Erikson's model are a little different due to cultural issue: in the wiestern culture, independence from parents is very normal, but in Asia it is not. However, they basically deal with the same theme that young adults should reform their relationships with others to be a "socially healthy" adult. The fourty year is the threshold between the young and middle adulthoods. At this stage, people should be free from vacillation, according to Confucius. I think that saying means when people enter into the middle age, they have be prepared to become instructors for the young. At the age 50, which is the halfway of the middle adulthood, people realize the God's will. In particularly in Erikson's theory, the God's will can be interpreted as the responsibility to help the next generation. Finally, at the age 60, Confucius was able to understand anything that he heard. Although the age 60 is in the middle adulthood, Confucius' stage is better match with the last stage of the Erikson's theory. (Maybe it is because Confucius was special.) At the age 60, Confucius had experienced so completely that he reached integrity of understanding others' words. The more advanced integrity came when Confucius was 70 years old: not only his cognition but also his natural behavior became complete. I think this last stage of Confucius is the ultimate level of "integrity" as normal people have to think consciously to behave appropriately even if they become old.
In fact, those two theories of development might not be accurate depending on the cultural background, educational environment and capability of individuals. Yet, I found it interesting enough to compare the thoughts of two very different people - one is a philosopher in ancient China, and the other is an American psychologist in the late 20th century - on my halfway of boring and demanding homework.

Assignment#6(required) - TED Review

David Keith : A surprising idea for "solving" climate change

  Last winter vacation, I researched about climate change and environmental engineering by collecting information from diverse articles, books, and journals. Once, I was researching about global warming and found an article introducing a novel idea of emitting sulfate molecules above the ozone layer to lower the temperature. The idea was inspired by the cooling effect after a volcano eruption, according to the article. The method was not so demanding or costing, but many people worried about its environmental impact. Actually, most ordinary people feel uncomfortable with artificial control of environment, such as geo-engineering, due to unknown risks; even I was opposed to the geo-engineering for the same reason. However, as David Keith claimed in the lecture, geo-engineering is not only expected to be an ultimate choice for environment, but a serious issue demanding profound discussion by entire population.

  Before we conclude whether geo-engineering is good or bad, we have to understand the characteristics of the environmental issue. Environmental problem has two ambivalent factors; one is about time, and the other is durability. First, environmental problem has a tight time limit. Although scientists can invent better ways to save the environment in the future, the nature never waits for humans: We cannot freeze the melted icebergs at the poles after they melt away. The more important thing than investigating to reach an absolute solution is acting the ideas into practice to alleviate the matter. On the other hand, we have to judge whether one possible solution is innocuous or not. Historically, the catastrophic destruction of ecosystem due to DDT shows that prudency in releasing new invention cannot be overemphasized. Every technology in engineering has possibility of unknown danger. To preclude any possible disaster, the geo-engineers should always be careful with new findings. To summarize, geo-engineers should be not only logical but also be pragmatic, balancing the two factors.

  Unfortunately, this “balance” is too hard to define objectively. As David Keith mentioned in the lecture, the environmental issue had been discussed for a long time, but the problem has not been ameliorated, but had only got worsened. It was very shocking that the environmental problems had been discussed for about 50 years, yet the contents of the discussion are almost the same with contemporary articles and papers. It seems that politicians and scientists have cared too much of "expected" side effects that they have overlooked the first factor, the time management. 

  The lecturer suggested us a very tempting and expedient solution to ameliorate the global warming in a short period. He did not thoroughly explain how his idea works, but he assaulted that his idea will surely work out very effectively. Still, many apprehensive people did not accept this solution saying that sulfate molecules will give a negative impact on the atmosphere in some way. Yet, I think judging whether this solution is harmless or risky is only a peripheral approach that does not make any progress. It is true that this tangible solution seems risky, but we should do something before it is too late. It is true that David Keith's idea is not the best idea, but putting the ideas into practice will engender the time to develop incomplete ideas into more exhaustive and concrete. If we have a time to study more about climate change, we have chance to find better solutions, at least; if we do not have time, all the creatures will be threatened.

  Before we put the geo-engineering into practice, we have another obstacle to overcome: It is moral hazard. People tend to have blind faith in the technologies to become more careless about environment. In order not to cancel out the effect of geo-engineering, I believe that policies and treaties should go along with the geo-engineering, scrupulously controlling the moral hazard. Even after the effect of geo-engineering becomes apparent, the effort to save the earth, such as recycling and developing alternative energy, should not be stopped.

  This TED video confirmed my idea of environmental science: Environmental science is complex not only because the mechanism of the nature is esoteric but also because it is more universal field than a branch of science. Since, environment is relevant to all the creatures on earth, environment issue is a jumble thousands of small interlocked wheels. It seems that explaining all the phenomena in a lucid way is impossible, but at least, one thing is very clear; before put something in action, we cannot preclude environmental disasters in the future.

Optional Assignment-Reviewing "The Help"

The Help(2011)

PG-13, 2 hr. 17 min.
Drama

Directed By:Tate Taylor

Written By:Tate Taylor
DreamWorks

Last Sunday, I watched "The Help" at the Megabox theater in COEX with my mom. Overall impression of this movie is that it makes people cry at some particular scenes, and it eventually makes people hopeful. "The Help" makes people think about ourselves and lingers for a long time.

The background of The Help is Mississippi in the 1960's. At that time, entire states except for Mississippi were undergoing groundbreaking changes due to many anti-racil discrimination protests. Still, racial discrimination and violating African Americans' rights were privalent in Mississippi.  Aibileen is the protagonist, who represents the African Americans in the movie. She is a black housekeeper, who has raised 32 white children, but could not look after her own kid. Her mind has been hurt badly by ignorant and biased white people, but she has never attempted to question the reality or to fight for her rights before Skeeter appears. Skeeter is an educated white woman who dreams to become a writer. She wants to write something revolutionary, so she decides to write a story about the help. Aibileen was at first afraid of helping Skeeter, but she starts to be more courageous.

Racial discrimination issue has been already discussed by many other films and documentaries. Only the events that convey the theme differ. The Help uses the events of African American housekeepers in particular. I thought these events  were impressive because it enabled the movie to dramatically contrast African American mothers and white mothers. It is very ironic that African American housekeepers were busy taking care of rich white chilldren, but cannot spend time with their own children. On the other hand, white women thought having a child is a proof of successful marriage, but they were too young and self-centered to sacrifice themselves to raise children. The rich used their wealth to spend more time for themselves, but as consequences, the poor was taken away their time to spend with their family.

I was also impressed by the way the director organized the story. While I was watching the film, I felt like I am reading a book; in fact, The Help is based on a novela. Generally, the film was in chronological order, but some of the scenes came out before and were connected later. Also, the director does not explain a lot, but I could imagine illustration or dialogues, that would appear if it was a novel. I think this way of expression is effective because audiences can imagine the moods from atmosphere or actors' behavior without hearing direct explanation.

Nevertheless, The Help was "fair" but not very innovative. The movie made some clever trials to move the audience's mind and to give a final lesson, which is very acceptable. Nonetheless, the movie was like a tale for children, which clearly devides the characters into angels and evils. Some of the critics said that none of the characters in The Help are realistic, and I agree with that opinion. If the characters were more dynamic, it would be more realistic. For example, the director could have questioned if all whites were discriminating colored due to biased and irrational reasons. I think most people do not argue about the theme because nowadays it is too obvious that racial discrimination is not acceptable. However, back in the 1960's, people did not think that was obvious, so the movie would have been much better if it delt with the theme from deeper and more diverse points of view.

★★★★★ : acting

★★★ : theme

★★★★★ : development of the plot

★★★★ : entertainment

average : 4.25/5